


after all these years

by taylorswift



Category: Actor RPF, Hunger Games Series - All Media Types, The Hunger Games (Movies) RPF
Genre: 2018 and I'm writing canon compliant Alexbelle call the cops, Canon Compliant, F/M, or at least I like to think it is, this is entirely selfish and I don't give a single fuck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-16
Updated: 2018-09-16
Packaged: 2019-07-13 15:52:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,079
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16021142
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/taylorswift/pseuds/taylorswift
Summary: It was better to keep church and state separate. Unfortunately for Isabelle, Alexander doesn't always do what's best.ORthe malibu triathlon fic that will hopefully answer all of the questions i'm sure we'll be left with once all is said and done





	after all these years

**Author's Note:**

> ...long time, no see everybody. welcome back from the dead - of course, after today, i'm about as dead as they come. you ought to know the drill with these by now, and if you don't, then chances are, you're either too young or you shouldn't be here in the first place. big shoutout to gracie, who, despite knowing i'm ready to fall apart at the seams, has done nothing but encourage this. who needs a degree when i still have to cater to my cult? *sigh* how i've missed all of you. 2012 is alive and well, and so is alexbelle. who would have ever thought madeline would be our savior? i'd also like apology letters from every single anon who told me i was a delusional human being with narcissistic personality disorder that alexbelle would never ever be real by friday night in mla format, please and thanks. also, friendly reminder that i write fic and therefore know -2 things about fitness and triathlons, so take everything with a grain of salt.
> 
>  **dedicated to** the lovely loren - i might have been too swamped to make you a birthday edit so this will have to suffice. i know you're so incredibly bummed about that ;) i love you to pieces and i'm so glad i can be a crackhead with you. 
> 
> **songs to listen to while you read (to optimize all your tears):** all these years by camila cabello, malibu by miley cyrus, somebody else by the 1975, i wanna know by notd  & bea miller, happier by ed sheeran, new year's day by my namesake t-swift, i won't mind by zayn malik, 11 blocks by wrabel, anaheim by nicole zefanya
> 
> if you'd like to come yell at me about your feelings, you can find me on instagram @tributediaries. happy (maybe) reading. xx

Whenever she was feeling something, Isabelle’s first instinct was to go for a run.

It wasn’t uncommon for her head to quickly turn into a jumbled, chaotic place when her emotions were involved. Running gave her the clarity she needed. Her feet hitting the concrete of the sidewalk or the asphalt, over and over again for miles was the kind of repetition that she found therapeutic. It used to feel like a death sentence, running, but within the last few years, there was a safety in the sensation of tightness in her chest the closer she got to toppling over. If she was down and out after another job fell through the cracks, she laced up her sneakers and went for a run. If she was in a good mood, she’d wake up early and race the sun in rising before she made it back home. If she was angry or pissed over something, she ran until she was too flustered to form coherent sentences. If she was stressed, she ran until she ran it off — or, as best as she could.

When a colliding force of confusion knocked into her, the instant response was to leave her apartment and run for three miles. And then three more. And then just aimlessly wander around New York for the hell of it, because the last thing she needed was to go home and think. Thinking had the tendency to turn into overthinking, and overthinking never ended well for Isabelle, especially in a moment of panic.

This would undoubtedly qualify, seeing as how anything that involved Alexander Ludwig instantly put her in flight mode.

Isabelle assumed she hadn’t been a stranger to déjà vu. It had happened before – or so she thought – in moments where she heard a song for the first time and knew all the words, or a certain dream felt like it occurred more than once and she knew how it played out as if this was just a rerun of her favorite movie. It turned out that actual déjà vu was much trickier, much more complex that just a few three-second moments laced in nostalgia. Real déjà vu was the feeling of being plucked out of your life and dropped into an old one, forced to find your way back by taking your exact same footsteps despite not knowing where to move. Déjà vu was when your life didn’t feel  _real_  anymore.

Nothing felt real about the last sixteen hours of her life. She felt as though someone had tossed her back into 2012 – or 2013, even, a fitting choice since that was the year when nothing made sense – and left her to the wolves. Everything was familiar, yet so alien that just trying to iron out the details gave her a migraine.

Triathlon. George. September. Her answer had been yes. That much wasn’t confusing.

The confusing bit was where Alexander Ludwig entered the picture.

George had initially proposed the idea of her taking on the triathlon independently. Last year they’d done it together, and with as much marathon training as she’d been doing, he really believed that she could do it by herself. She had vetoed that idea after a grand twelve seconds of mulling it over. She loved being part of a team. It motivated her in ways that she couldn’t by herself, and the feeling of belonging to something gave her a sense of purpose. Even if he didn’t want to take her on – she was under the impression that his suggestion of going at it alone was a hint that for some reason, he didn’t want to do it together — she wanted to find someone to do relay with and had asked for him to keep his ears open.   

She didn’t know what part of that translated into ‘please, call up my former costar and friend that I haven’t spoken to since I was eighteen and recruit him’ but somehow, that’s what it had ended up being. George knew Jack, and Isabelle supposed that somewhere along the line they’d thought about training together. The flaw in that plan was that Jack had a package deal going on; if he was doing it, then so was Alexander. And Alexander  _really_  wanted to relay for the second day.

George had called last night asking about it. “So, did you still want to do Nautica on a team?”

“Ideally,” she’d answered, only half paying attention to the conversation. The other half was busy chopping scallions, trying to balance her phone between her ear and shoulder.

“I might have found one for you.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah,” George replied. “It’ll be kinda like it was last year — relay.”

“Mhm,” Isabelle hummed, the knife meeting her cutting board rhythmically. “If they want me, then I’m in.”

“We’d be glad to have you — I still think you should do it by yourself, though. Especially Olympic. You’d crush it.”

“And I told you, I do better on a team,” she’d retorted, rolling her eyes. “Besides, I don't want to do Olympic, not with the Marathon Project coming up."

"Hey, fair enough," George rescinded.

"So, who all’s in this group? Me, you, and Tony?”

“Don’t know if Tony’s in or out yet, he might have a work thing. There's two, maybe three others we could potentially recruit if he's out? There’s my buddy Jack; he did Olympic last year but he’s looking for somebody to train with, maybe do relay if he’s feeling it. He says his guy Alexander definitely wants to do relay on Classics, so that's an option.”

Alexander wasn’t an uncommon name by any means, but Isabelle had learned her lesson after that one trip to Disneyland with Jackie and Amandla a few years ago — it was, in fact, a small world after all. She knew George was talking about Jack Heston because she’d met him at the triathlon last year, and she knew which Alexander happened to be best fuckin’ friends with Jack Heston.

It didn’t take much to take Isabelle by surprise, really, but this had come so far out of left field that she wound up dropping the knife and sliced down her index finger.

“Shit!” The knife clattered onto the counter when she recoiled out of pain.

“Iz?” George’s concern came echoing through the receiver as Isabelle tried assessing the damage, staining one of her dish towels red in the process.

“I’m here, I’m here,” she’d muttered. Her ears were still ringing from the bombshell George had thrown right at her face, his voice sounding more and more distant the longer the phone call dragged on.

“Everything okay?”

“Peachy.”

After that fun phone call – and debating on whether she needed to take her latest injury to the ER to get stitches – Isabelle had been restless. Sleep was a luxury she didn’t have, tossing and turning all night while she spelled Alexander’s name on the roof and did circles around the ceiling fan as her brain attempted to wrap around it all. Like that of a snake, all she wound up doing was encircling her senses and squeezing the life out of them.

Ultimately, she didn’t know how to feel about any of this. She’d thought that after The Hunger Games, hers and Alexander’s paths had diverged — and for good reason, too. Their friendship had been strong, but it had always been too flashy and bright for the tastes of the people in their lives. Everyone assumed it was something it never was because the two of them always picked the other over everything else. Their bond had been special and forged by iron, and when it couldn’t be broken, it was best put away in a drawer where it didn’t threaten to ruin their other relationships.

For as much as she missed him, she knew it had been for the best. Reconciliation had never been on the table, either.

Until now.

So she kept running.

* * *

  

 **IMESSAGE**  
Alexander Ludwig   
Friday

 

 ** _1:30AM  
_** Long time no talk, Little Fuhrman

 ** _1:46AM  
_** Yeah, for sure

  
**_1:47AM  
_** Did George talk to you?

 ** _1:50AM  
_** About Nautica?

  
**_1:51AM  
_** Bingo

 **1:54AM**  
He told me that he was looking to nab you and Jack  
for relay, didn't say much more than that

  
**_1:57AM  
_** Yeah, I'm not sure if I'm in or out yet

Jack and Nick really want to do it but KD and I aren't in the  
country atm. Dunno if I'll get back in time to do enough training  
to be of any use

You gonna do it?

 ** _2:00AM  
_** Probably.

I did it last year with George – he wants me to go  
solo but I’d prefer being on a team if I do it at all

  
**_2:02AM  
_** Guess I better get to deciding then, huh??

 

  
**2:35AM**  
Btw, I've missed you a lot, Bells. I really hope I can get things to work out  
so I can do this and spend some time with you

It'd be just like the old days

 

* * *

 

 **IMESSAGE**  
George Kosturos  
Sunday

 

 ** _11:29AM  
_** Count me in for Nautica

  
**_12:17PM_** _  
_👍👍👍

 

* * *

 

Luca was not thrilled.

In fact, Luca was pissed, something Isabelle had only ever seen once before. Luca didn’t get angry, having what Isabelle assumed the patience of a saint. Apparently, she, like Isabelle, had a trigger that was tall, blonde, and known best for their role as Cato in The Hunger Games.

“You cannot be serious.” Her voice was dangerously quiet and level, posture perfect as she sat on the edge of Isabelle’s bed like a statue. Isabelle was the stark contrast of Luca’s composure with sweat dripping down her chest, her hair flyaway, body slightly hunched over as she tried to catch her breath. She felt it an accurate representation of what things were like inside her head at the moment.

“As a heart attack,” Isabelle panted, hand resting on the bed frame. Like every other day for the last two weeks, she’d been going on longer and longer runs. It was good exercise, good training, and good distraction.

“Let me get this straight,” Luca began. “You signed up to do a triathlon with George, who also wants to recruit Alexander — the same Alexander that let his spitefully insecure girlfriend walk all over you when you were fifteen and that you haven’t talked to in three years.  _And_  you want to move back to LA this summer so you can train with him, something you’ve decided over the span of two weeks.”

Isabelle frowned. “The way you put it, it sounds like I’m planning to rob the US Treasury, not do a triathlon.”

“Well, forgive me if I don’t whip out my pom-poms right away.”

Luca wasn’t a tense person; if anything, she was the most relaxed out of the two, constantly telling Isabelle to unlock her jaw and relax her shoulders. Her sudden displeasure wasn’t subtle, and Isabelle’s eyebrows knitted together as she tried to get a read on what was running through her mind. “What’s your deal?”

“My deal?” Luca repeated, erring on the side of disbelief.

“Yes,” Isabelle said, her hand leaving the bed frame to gesture between them. She didn’t get it. Luca was the one speaking in riddles, not her – there was not much confusion to be had with anything that was leaving her mouth. “Your deal.”

“My deal is that I think you’re a little too eager to jump headfirst into what’s looking a lot like a bad idea.”

“A bad idea? It’s a triathlon, Luca. You never have any issues with me training for marathons, doing whatever I have to in order to make it work. What’s different about it now?”

“You know what.”

Isabelle blinked a few times as the astonishment broke over her head like a wave. Luca was staring up at her, a knowing look splashed across her face, and Isabelle could physically feel her temper begin to spike. “Unbelievable,” she hissed.

“What?” Luca exclaimed, a snap in her stillness as she threw her hands up, shoulders shrugging. “Can you blame me for going there?”

“You shouldn’t even have gone there in the first place.”

“And you think no one else will either? Come on, Isabelle.”

“We aren’t telling anyone about it. He doesn’t even know if he’s for sure going to do it,” Isabelle threw out, mostly in the interest of slipping in a diffuser before Luca gave either one of them cause to fly off the handle. “He says his schedule is a little unpredictable at the moment.”

“Oh, I’m sure it is,” Luca scoffed.

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”

“You don’t know if he’s even on this team, yet you want to spend the entire summer in LA. Because of him.”

“It’s not all just because of him, stop villainizing him, for god’s sake. You don’t know him, you only know what I’ve told you.”

“Yeah, and news flash, Isabelle: most of it wasn’t all that great,” Luca mumbled.

“That was all  _her_ —”

“And he let her do it! You need to start facing the music. If he really cared about you like you claim he did, he would have put a stop to it.”

“Why are you all of a sudden throwing 2012 back in my face?” Isabelle snapped. Nicole Pedra was the definition of a sore subject, even six years later. “It literally has nothing to do with anything!”

“Because you might as well already be back there, the way you’re letting him stroll back into your life and start calling the shots.”

“He hasn’t  _done_  anything, Luca!”

“Isabelle, you are standing here telling me that you want to move back to LA. Don’t tell me that’s not something.”

“Okay, technically, I still have a place in LA. It’s not like I’m going to have to throw myself at the vultures of the real estate world tomorrow morning.”

“It’s your mother’s.”

“Same difference!” Isabelle spluttered, her hand planting firmly on her hip as her shoulders fell. “We always go back to LA once you finish up with the semester, so I don’t have a single frickin’ clue what your issue is here — other than you doing the one thing that I thought you of  _all_ people wouldn’t, believing those stupid fucking rumors that I’ve told you weren’t true.” Her voice threatened to give way to the frustrated tears burning behind her eyes. She’d run laps around the Alexander ordeal with nearly everyone in her life that knew about him, and Luca had been one of the only people not to look at her with some sort of lingering suspicion, as though they didn’t fully believe her when she said that nothing had happened between them.

Up until now, that was.

“My issue? My issue – you just threw this at me!” Luca’s voice jumped an octave, her composure beginning to crack. “In case you haven’t noticed, Isabelle, it’s not just you anymore. Your life, my life…our life, it’s all something we did. Together. And now you just come in and tell me that over the last two weeks you’ve somehow made up your mind in moving back to LA this summer to train for a triathlon you haven’t even told me the first thing about? You keep…you keep springing things on me, and expecting me to roll with all the punches without complaint, like that’s the way we’re going to do things and I just have to deal with it. Yet you’re giving someone you haven’t talked to since you were in high school plenty of say in where we go from here?” Her hands came colliding down onto her thighs in defeat. “So, yeah, forgive me for questioning where your loyalties lie. But can you really blame me? You haven’t given me the first thought in any of this, and I’m your goddamn girlfriend.  _He’s_  as good as a stranger.”

The room went quiet, a vacuum sucking them into the most uncomfortable silence Isabelle had ever found herself in the crosshairs of. Her eyes were stuck on Luca’s face, watching as the emotions moved across them like film. The irritation, the disdain, the hurt. The betrayal. The disappointment. Reality quickly caught up with her the slower her breathing got, Isabelle collapsing down onto the bed next to Luca as the realizations hit her.

She was right back inside her fifteen-year-old self’s mind, except the rest of the world around her was six years ahead, and the more she dwelled on that, the more nauseous she felt.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered when she could feel her voice return back to her throat, a broken and hoarse plea.

“I didn’t mean to insinuate anything,” Luca admitted, voice small. Isabelle knew that would be the extent of her concession, and rightfully so: most of this was on Isabelle. Rash decisions were usually never her forte, and it wasn't lost on her that the first time in forever she does something in the vein of stupidity, Alexander Ludwig was the driving force behind it. 

“But you’re right. That’s what’s gonna happen.” Isabelle leaned forward, elbows planted into her thighs and face buried in her hands as she groaned.

Luca’s hand was gentle as it rested on her back, her palm right on top of Isabelle’s spine. “You said it yourself, you don’t even know if he’s going to go through with it.”

“And when he does? What then? Delete my Instagram and hide under a rock until September’s come and gone?” She sighed. "I can't go through that again. I can't  _do_  2012 again."

“Well, you do what you said you’d do — you don’t talk about it.”

“Yeah, but I’m not gonna just…go behind your back again and do it when you’re obviously not happy about it. It’s like you said, he’s as good as a stranger. He’s not worth it, not if it comes down to him versus you.” Once upon a time, Isabelle wouldn't have been able to catch herself dead saying anyone meant more to her than the people she'd filmed The Hunger Games with. Like all fairytales, though, they came to an end, and this one had a bit of an unconventional happily ever after. After ever after for her had been Kyle, and after  _that_  ever after had come Luca. For once, there was a relationship in her life that felt stable and right, and she sure as hell wasn't about to fuck it all over for Alexander Ludwig. He hadn't picked her, after all, in the great Nicole versus Isabelle debacle, why would she pick him? Especially now?

There was a pause, Luca’s hand starting to feel more like a weight the longer it stayed on her back. “I think you should do it,” she finally said.

Isabelle lifted her head from her hands, green eyes meeting blue. “Luca—”

Luca shook her head defiantly. “Look, you up and moved to New York for me back when we first started dating, even though your entire life was out in LA. I didn’t ask you to do that for me, but you did it anyways and made everything else work. So I’ll make this work. Besides, you're gonna have to go back for Nike in July.”

“Are you sure?” Isabelle asked cautiously, both eyebrows raised. “I can tell George no, I don’t have to do this. I don’t  _want_  to do this if it’s gonna be an issue.”

She watched as the edges of Luca’s lips curled up into a thin smile. “I know how happy this stuff makes you, and I don’t want to be the person that takes it away from you. But,” she added quickly. “No more secrets.”

All Isabelle could do was nod in agreement, words failing her again. “No more secrets,” she promised quickly.

“Now get away from me,” Luca said, her hand leaving Isabelle’s back and pushing her away as things dissipated back into their normal. “And get in the shower. I'm sure they can smell you from LA.”

“Only if you join me.”

If love was just sacrifice, then Isabelle could say with certainty that no one had ever loved her quite like Luca.

* * *

 

  **IMESSAGE**  
Alexander Ludwig, George Kosturos   
Tuesday

 

 

 _George Kosturos_ **  
_1:24PM_  
** We're registered - mark the calendars for September 16th   
lady and gent

Zander: swimming  
Me: biking  
Iz: running

We're going for the gold this year

 

 _Alexander Ludwig_ **  
_1:31PM_  
** Hell yeah baby  
🥇🥇🥇

 

* * *

 

 **IMESSAGE**  
Alexander Ludwig   
Wednesday

 

 ** _7:50PM_** _  
_ You ready to do this thing, Fuhrman???

 ** _7:58PM_** _  
_ Well, if not, I suppose I've got a few months to get ready  
for it

 ** _8:00PM_** _  
_ You didn't even get your own reference there?

 ** _8:03PM_** _  
_ Huh??

 ** _8:04PM_** _  
_ You know, "I'm ready to do this thing?"

From before you and Jen did the feast scene??

Did you even watch the bts features once the dvd came out?  
Or were you just a fake fan this whole time?

 ** _8:07PM_** _  
_ Okay, I know you're not calling me a fake fan, Mister  
"I told everyone I read all three THG books even though  
I haven't gone near a book in the last decade"

Second of all, excuse me for not remembering  
something I said when I was fourteen and more  
than likely suffering from dehydration

 ** _8:10PM_** _  
_ Wow, rude 

I thought time would have made you a little less sassy

Guess not

 ** _8:15PM_** _  
_ We don't always get what we want in life 🤷

 ** _8:17PM_** _  
_ Damn, I take that back

You're more of a cold-blooded killer

 ** _8:20PM_** _  
_ That's me

Clove is back from the dead with a vengeance

 ** _8:22PM_** _  
_ Can she still throw knives??

 ** _8:25PM_** _  
_ Safely?

 ** _8:26PM_** _  
_ Taking that as one giant ass no

 ** _8:30PM_** _  
_ The last time I was around a knife went very similarly  
to you that time on set when you forgot you had  
the real sword and nearly killed Ethan

 ** _8:32PM_** _  
_ RUTHLESS

YOU ARE RUTHLESS, WOMAN

But would anyone have really missed Ethan????

 ** _8:36PM_** _  
_ Touché

 ** _8:40PM_** _  
_ Speaking of missing people...I've missed you

Like, a whole fuckin lot

 ** _8:47PM_** _  
_ I missed you too.

 

* * *

 

  **IMESSAGE**  
Alexander Ludwig   
Monday

 

 ** _12:56PM_** _  
_ You in LA?

 ** _2:22PM_** _  
_ No, I'm still in New York

 ** _2:34PM_** _  
_ Do you know when you're gonna be out here? George and I  
wanna train with our partner

 ** _2:51PM_** _  
_ Next week, maybe??

I'll let you know once I know something

 ** _2:55PM_** _  
_ PLease do

I'd love to see you

* * *

 

  **IMESSAGE**  
Alexander Ludwig   
Thursday

 

 ** _4:35AM_** _  
_ I'll be in LA next Tuesday

Let me know if you wanna get together, do a run or bike or smth

 ** _12:26PM_** _  
_ KD and I went back home to Van for a little bit

When I get back though, you're on

 

* * *

 

 **IMESSAGE**  
Alexander Ludwig   
Sunday

 

 ** _7:49PM_** _  
_ Went for a run today, thought you'd appreciate this view 😇  
[ CLICK TO VIEW IMG_2825.JPG ]

 ** _8:23PM_** _  
_ Your big head is blocking the mountains

 ** _8:44PM_** _  
_ Do I have the wrong number? Is this actually Jackie??

Isabelle would NEVER

 ** _9:06PM_** _  
_ Sorry, the old Isabelle can't come to the phone right now

 ** _9:08PM_** _  
_ Why?

 ** _9:09PM_** _  
_ 'Cause she's dead

 ** _9:11PM_** _  
_ Okay, phew, good to know you're still in there, Bells

 ** _9:14PM_** _  
_ Only you would use that reference to determine whether or  
not someone was still themselves

 ** _9:19PM_** _  
_ Hey, that song was iconic

So was all of reputation

 ** _9:22PM_** _  
_ Definitely not the best song on reputation, though

Also, when are you gonna give the TS crush a rest???  
I woulda thought after you got swerved at the KCAs  
you would have accepted defeat

😉

 ** _9:23PM_** _  
_ Well, miss fuhrman, what do U consider the best song on reputation???

You are insufferable

Blocked

 ** _9:25PM_** _  
_💋💋💋

Best song on rep is for sure Delicate

 ** _9:27PM_** _  
_ Consider this me banning you from mine and T-sweezy's wedding

 ** _9:30PM_** _  
_ I'm so wounded

I'm sure Kristy will be elated to hear the news

 ** _9:32PM_** _  
_ SHe knows she doesn't hold a candle to TS, so we good

 ** _9:35PM_** _  
_ Wow, boyfriend of the year GOES TO

 ** _9:36PM_** _  
_ Thanks, I know I'm a catch

Speaking of boyfriends, how's Kyle?

 ** _9:44PM_** _  
_ You'd have to ask him

We're kinda not together anymore

 ** _9:47PM_** _  
_ Uh WHAT

When tf did that happen???

 ** _9:49PM_** _  
_ Uh, like over a year and a half ago

 ** _9:51PM_** _  
_ Okay, I know I was under a rock and everything during 2017  
but damn

I'm sorry, belle

I know you guys were kinda serious there the last time we  
spoke

 ** _9:53PM_** _  
_ It's whatever

We both wanted different things so it's water under  
the bridge at this point, no need in being sorry  
about anything

 ** _9:58PM_** _  
_ I really have missed out on a lot, huh??

 ** _10:02PM_** _  
_ Hey, it happens

Don't sweat it

 ** _10:05PM_** _  
_ It's just weird, I guess

We used to be thick as thieves and now we don't really know  
all that much about one another

 ** _10:10PM_** _  
_ Okay, what do you consider the best song on reputation?

 ** _10:13PM_** _  
_ Call it what you want

Or I did something bad, talk about a workout song

 ** _10:15PM_** _  
_ Now we can't say we don't know much about each other anymore -  
we both know each other's fave songs off reputation

 ** _10:16PM_** _  
_ #friendshipgoals

 ** _10:18PM_** _  
_ #hellyeah

 

* * *

 

  **IMESSAGE**  
Alexander Ludwig, George Kosturos   
Tuesday

 

 

 _Alexander Ludwig_ **  
_12:24PM_  
** Came up with a good team name for us: Team  
Mammadidntraisenoquitters

All one word

We don't believe in spaces

 

 _George Kosturos  
**1:30PM**  
_ You're a maniac

 _Me  
**1:46PM**  
_ I fuckin love it

Unless your mom raised you to be a quitter, Kosturos

 _George Kosturos  
**1:53PM**  
_ Fuck off Fuhrman

 

 _Alexander Ludwig **  
1:56PM**  
_ That's my girl 😈

* * *

  

 **IMESSAGE**  
Alexander Ludwig   
Friday

 

 ** _6:21AM_** _  
_ Successfully infiltrated the workout playlist  
[ CLICK TO VIEW IMG_9377.JPG ]

 ** _8:56AM_** _  
_ Now all you think about is me 😏

 ** _9:33AM_** _  
_ Keep dreaming

   

* * *

 

 **IMESSAGE**  
Alexander Ludwig   
Thursday

 

 ** _3:44AM_** _  
_ Should be in LA sometime next week if you wanna train together?   
i promised you a run or bike

Or if you wanna go for a swim, wouldn't be opposed to that

You'd just have to find the body of water for us to do it in

 ** _5:17AM_** _  
_ I'll be around any time after 3, my  
mornings are pretty much dedicated to NWMP

 ** _9:48AM_** _  
_ NWMP??

 ** _11:23AM_** _  
_ NikeWomen Marathon Project

 ** _11:32AM_** _  
_ What happened to clumsy Isabelle who could barely walk on   
level ground w/out running the risk of breaking her neck???

 ** _12:58PM_** _  
_ She grew up

 ** _1:05PM_** _  
_ No kidding

 

* * *

 

 **IMESSAGE**  
Alexander Ludwig   
Saturday

 

 ** _12:20AM_** _  
_ I see you on spotify rn.....and I got a LOT  
of questions

 ** _1:26AM_** _  
_ Oh, stfu

You're one to talk

 ** _1:30AM_** _  
_ Thanks for indirectly confirming what I was  
thinking, appreciate it

 ** _1:34AM_** _  
_ Definitely not what you think it was

 ** _1:37AM_** _  
_ Isabelle, if it walks like a duck and quacks like  
a duck, then it's a duck

Quack quack, motherfucker

 ** _1:40AM_** _  
_ I'm a grown ass woman who has needs

Sue me

 ** _1:42AM_** _  
_ You have NEEDS?! I'm done 😂😂

 ** _1:43AM_** _  
_ Blocked and reported, starting now

 ** _1:45AM_** _  
_ Sorry, it's just....welll, it's hella funny, esp seeing as  
how every time I picture you I picture a scrawny Isabelle  
Fuhrman who's still underage

Although I guess I can't be too surprised, you /did/ get all  
of those raunchy jokes back in the day

 ** _1:47AM_** _  
_ Excuse me, who are you calling SCRAWNY

P sure your pictures from Race to Witch Mtn pop  
up whenever one looks up 'scrawny'

 ** _1:48AM_** _  
_ You're rude

I thought getting laid was supposed to make you less ornery

 ** _1:50AM_** _  
_ Ornery???? Get off dictionary.com, loser

 ** _1:51AM_** _  
_ I'll have you know I'm college educated

 ** _1:52AM_** _  
_ In the science of frat parties, maybe

 ** _1:53AM_** _  
_ OKay, I'll give u that one

I'll also leave you be, I can't imagine the lucky guy is  
super thrilled about how pillow talk w/ you is shaping up to be

 ** _1:55AM_** _  
_ Nah, it's okay, I'm by myself rn

SHE had to leave since she's got smth tomorrow morning

 ** _2:03AM_** _  
_ She?

 ** _2:03AM_** _  
_ Yeah

You remember Luca?

 ** _2:04AM_** _  
_ Vaguely

Facinelli?

 ** _2:05AM_** _  
_ That'd be the one

 ** _2:05AM_** _  
_ Oh, shit

Didn't know yall were a thing

 ** _2:06AM_** _  
_ Very few people do, lol

 ** _2:06AM_** _  
_ How longs that been going on?

 ** _2:06AM_** _  
_ Couple of months

 ** _2:07AM_** _  
_ Well I'm happy for you, esp if she makes you happy

 ** _2:07AM_** _  
_ Thanks Zander, I appreciate it

 ** _2:08AM_** _  
_ And I'm happy to hear that your needs are being met

 ** _2:09AM_** _  
_ Good fucking bye

 ** _2:09AM_** _  
_😂😂😂

 

* * *

 

 **IMESSAGE**  
Alexander Ludwig   
Monday

 

 ** _5:11PM_** _  
_ How's Friday sound for a run?

 ** _8:39PM_** _  
_  Sounds good!

 

* * *

 

 **IMESSAGE**  
Alexander Ludwig  
Thursday

 

 ** _7:13PM_** _  
_ Something came up, rain check????

 ** _7:21PM  
_** Yeah, sure thing

 ** _7:56PM_** _  
_ You the best

  

* * *

 

 **IMESSAGE**  
Alexander Ludwig  
Sunday

 

 ** _5:30AM_** _  
_ Went for a run, wish u had been here  
[ CLICK TO VIEW IMG_2913.JPG ]

**_Read 9:26AM_ **

 

* * *

  

 **IMESSAGE**  
Alexander Ludwig  
Friday

 

 ** _2:56AM_** _  
_ I hate you. I really, really, REALLY hate you

 ** _3:24AM_** _  
_ Any particular reasoning for that?

 ** _3:25AM_** _  
_ Okay, why the fuck wouldn't you tell me that the reason  
you fell off the face of the earth was because you went  
to rehab? Why in the literal HELL would you not say something  
to me about that? I mean, here I am thinking that we just stopped  
talking because you had some crazy ass girlfriends who hated me  
and we were growing apart like time does to people, but it's really  
just because you were struggling and were trying to get help?????  
What the fuck?????????

I thought we said we could tell each other anything no matter what?  
I meant it when I said that

 ** _3:34AM_** _  
_ Im sorry, Belle, I really am. But do u seriously, genuinely think  
that I was ever in the business of telling anybody what I was going  
through at that time? ESPECIALLY someone that I'd grown apart from  
BECAUSE of what was going on in my life? 

I meant it when I said there's no way I could hurt u and all this stupid  
addiction ever does is hurt people. It hurts all the people in my life way  
more than it hurts me, do you really think I would ever drag u into that?  
put that burden on you?? I know you, and I know that you'd give ur left  
fucking kidney to help someone. You couldn't have helped me through  
any of this. Nobody could

And besides, I don't ever want to drag u into my messes. Not after Her

I love you too much to do that to you again

 ** _3:40AM_** _  
_ It's my choice, though, bleeding myself dry over the people I care  
about. And you're damn fuckin right that I would have done that  
for you, because you were my best friend at one point and you still  
hold such a special place in my heart that I'd do it for you 100x over

Is everything okay now???

 ** _3:42AM_** _  
_ Yeah, everything is okay now

Sober n healthy

 ** _3:43AM_** _  
_ Okay. Good. Keep it that way, please.

I love you too much to lose you, and if I did, I'd literally bring you  
back from the dead and kill you again myself for doing that to me.  
And everyone else in your life.

 ** _3:45AM_** _  
_ Yes ma'am

I love you. Alot and I'm happy that ur back in my life. I know I fucked  
up alot with u, especially when it came to Her and the addiction and life  
constantly getting in the way, but I never meant to push you away. That  
was the last thing I wanted. U have to know that.

 ** _3:47AM_** _  
_ I know

You just deserve better. You always have and you always will. You  
deserve happiness.

 ** _3:48AM_** _  
_❤️

I think I'm getting there, for sure

 ** _3:49AM_** _  
_ Good

And I'm happy you're back in my life, too. I really did miss you.

 ** _3:49AM_** _  
_ I missed you too

District 2 foreva

 ** _3:50AM_** _  
_ Forever n eva

* * *

 

 **IMESSAGE**  
Alexander Ludwig  
Sunday

 

 ** _6:52AM_** _  
_ Went for a run, thought you'd enjoy the view 😙  
 [ CLICK TO VIEW IMG_9398.JPG ]

 ** _8:30AM_** _  
_ Your big head is blocking the view of the Hollywood sign

Move

 ** _8:45AM_** _  
_ Hate you

 ** _9:11AM_** _  
_ Love you too bells!!!!

You were right though, I do enjoy the view

 

* * *

 

 **IMESSAGE**  
Alexander Ludwig  
Wednesday

 

 ** _8:01PM_** _  
_ George tells me you haven't been training

 ** _8:16PM_** _  
_ In my defense, I've been auditioning

 ** _8:19PM_** _  
_ Good for you

Get in the gym and train, boy

I'm not about to lose this triathlon just because you  
wanna be a hotshot actor

 ** _8:23PM_** _  
_ Damn, yes ma'am

 ** _8:27PM_** _  
_😊

District 2 isn't about to lose again

* * *

Something was changing, and Isabelle could feel it.

It was like something inside her had been waking up after years of being buried underneath rubble and dust and the skeletons of emotions that had long since died. She could feel it stirring deep underneath her ribs and growing with every day that passed, every text that had lit up her lockscreen — a lockscreen of her and her girlfriend sitting on the beach, she had to remind herself — and she didn't know if it what she was feeling had a name, but she knew it scared her. 

She could feel Luca slipping away, something she had been afraid of the minute they'd decided to jump the line that separated friends from lovers. Luca had been a reprieve, her anchor, the person who knew her best, and Isabelle knew it in her heart of hearts that somebody like Luca didn't ever really deserve her. Luca deserved somebody who wasn't constantly on the go with work, someone who wasn't dedicated and committed to everything other than their significant other, it seemed. And to be fair, it had been expected. Luca didn't go with her to the wedding and it didn't feel like that big of a deal. But then she stopped trying to make up for it, and then Luca stopped, and then it felt like Luca was a satellite, falling out of orbit and drifting farther and farther out into space. Farther than Isabelle could reach. 

And it wasn't lost on her, either, the fact that the less of Luca in her life there was, the more room Alexander had to occupy. Every text message from him elicited a smile out of her the more he talked to her, whether it was to send her morning motivation on her Marathon Project days or to give her a new song recommendation for her running playlists, or even just to tell her about the last two years she'd missed out on. She was re-learning him and it felt good. It felt like things had finally started to align with him, back how they used to be, and that nostalgia was refreshing. It just had one hell of an aftertaste — the polite reminder she was slipping when it came to every other relationship in her life. Exactly like it used to be.

It was a cruel balancing act that was never in her favor.  

She'd gone for a swim in the ocean to clear her head, because running didn't do it anymore. She needed to dwindle her thoughts down to one track, that one track being whether or not she needed air. Maybe things had been better off before, when she and Alexander weren't talking and their lives weren't intertwined. Maybe that was the reason she'd been able to think straight and things hadn't been as cloudy and unsure as they were now. Maybe this was regret sliding down her throat and settling unevenly in her stomach. Alexander always put her into flight mode, and her wings were already starting to catch wind.

Her skin was numb to the water, her muscles screaming, but she kept pushing forward. She needed to feel something other than all the uncertainty bubbling in her bloodstream, and if that was exhaustion, then so be it. 

Why couldn't she just have everything that she wanted? Why couldn't she have Luca and her friendship with Alexander and not have to sacrifice one for the other? There had never been feelings there. She'd gone blue in the face, taking the rumors to war and trying to put them in a grave that they never wanted to stay in. She didn't want to ruin a friendship because he thought she liked him, when it couldn't have been any further from the truth. It was why she'd been so frantic in diffusing them when Nicole came around, so irritated when it proved to be a hydra she was never going to win against. So defeated that she'd let them steamroll right over her and watched as they tangled around her friendship with him and choked the life out of it.

So upset when he didn't call her back.

So frustrated whenever she looked back at the pictures and wondered how they'd died.

Had she been wrong, yelling at him about rehab and toxic girlfriends and how they'd delivered the nail in the coffin? Had it really been her, so desperate to prove that she didn't love him  _like that_  that she'd thrown her hands in the air and said fuck it, fuck it all, it didn't matter that much to her anyways? Had it all been some valiant attempt at trying to scream louder than everyone and their opinions just because she didn't want for him to hear the truth?

He'd been beautiful. He'd always been beautiful. And he was so kind, so funny, looked at her like she was made of gold and he didn't dare want to leave fingerprints on her and risk dulling her shine. He wanted to protect her from everything, even if that everything was him. She would have done anything for him, too, just like he'd pointed out. Looked at him like he'd carefully hung every single star in her sky and marveled at the work he'd done. Kept it close to the chest so she'd never have to share it, share that version of him with anyone else.

God, did she really—was  _this_ —

Saltwater went up her nose and she spluttered, her groove grinding to a halt as she came to a stop to try and catch her breath. Her throat was burning as she coughed, eyes watering. It was a rude shake back into reality for her, and for a few moments she was still, just treading water in the rolling waves around her.

Everything was changing around her, and she couldn't do anything to pull the brakes on it, either.

Something about that scared her, even more than the capacities in which her own mind was able to twist and convince her.

It scared her to death.

* * *

 

**INSTAGRAM**

 

Liked by **isabellefur** and **176 others**

 **nauticamalibutri** We can't wait to see these two smiling faces on September 16th! Only 15 more days until the #NauticaMalibuTru! We hope you are as excited as we are!! @Nautica @BankofAmerica

 

_View all 3 comments_

**georgekosturos** Hyped for this years team!!@alexanderludwig @isabellefur

 

_August 31_

  

* * *

 

 **IMESSAGE**  
Luca Bella  
Saturday

 

 ** _1:23PM_** _  
_ when did you change your mind???

 ** _3:40PM_** _  
_ Huh?

Change my mind? About what?

 ** _3:42PM_** _  
_ telling people about nautica. i thought you said that you guys  
were gonna keep it on the DL

 ** _3:43PM_** _  
_???? We did

 ** _3:45PM_** _  
_ it's not exactly on the DL anymore  
[ CLICK TO VIEW IMG_3415.JPG ]

 ** _3:47PM_** _  
_ FUCK

 ** _3:48PM_** _  
_ you didn't know????

 ** _3:49PM_** _  
_ One doesn't say fuck towards something they were expecting, Luc  
Unless they're actually getting fucked

Although I guess that's what one might call this

 ** _3:50PM_** _  
_ oh shit

i'm sorry, iz. i didn't know

 ** _3:52PM_** _  
_ Shit shit shit shit shit

 ** _3:54PM_** _  
_ maybe it's not that bad? maybe no one cares anymore. besides,  
do any of them even know who george is? do they even remember  
that you're doing the tri? you guys have been so good about not  
mentioning any of it. 

 ** _3:57PM_** _  
_ They care. They ALWAYS care.

God fucking dammit

 ** _3:58PM_** _  
_ baby, just breathe. it's gonna be fine, ok? it's gonna be fine.

don't spin out over this. you don't need to stress yourself out over  
something this minuscule - you have enough to worry about.

go for a run. throw your phone in a river or something. don't  
let this plague you. it's not a big deal.

 ** _4:55PM_** _  
_ I guess.

 

* * *

 

 **IMESSAGE**  
George Kosturos  
Thursday

 

 ** _12:08AM_** _  
_ Will you hate me if I say that I want to do Nautica solo?

 ** _8:14AM_** _  
_ Are you backing out because I commented that on the official IG?

Luca told me you freaked after I did that, and I'm sorry, Iz, I really  
am. I didn't know that was a sore spot for you

Please don't bow out of the team just because I accidentally said  
something. 

 ** _9:42AM_** _  
_ It's not because of that. Promise. I just think that you were  
right, and that I can handle all 3 disciplines this year. I want  
to prove this to myself that I can do it

 ** _9:50AM_** _  
_ I am right, you can do it by yourself. But, like I also said, we are more  
than happy to have you on our team & will be sad to lose u. I'm gonna   
support you in whatever you wanna do, Ludwig will be the same. So do   
what your gut's telling you

 ** _9:57AM_** _  
_ I'm gonna go at it alone.

Thanks for always believing in me, Kosturos

 ** _10:03AM_** _  
_ That's what always is for, kiddo

 ** _10:06AM_** _  
_💕💕💕

 

* * *

  

 **IMESSAGE**  
Alexander Ludwig  
Monday

 

 ** _1:42PM_** _  
_ George told me you were going at it solo for Classics

 ** _4:56PM_** _  
_ Yeah.

I got shit to prove to myself, you know????

 ** _5:05PM_** _  
_ Yeah, I know how that goes

A little sad you're not gonna be w us anymore tho 😞

I was looking forward to training with you

 ** _6:30PM_** _  
_ Yeah, me too

 

* * *

Alexander knew that he'd oversoaked his brain in alcohol a time or two and had killed off a few brain cells here and there, but he liked to think he could still tell when something was up.

People had their tells, after all, and some people — namely, Isabelle Fuhrman, weren't exactly subtle about their tells. He knew whenever she was stressed, she fell off the face of the planet. He'd tried keeping up their conversation, sending her more motivational quotes that he knew she had a soft spot for reading and saving to her camera roll in the hopes maybe she'd reply to one of them (the Chewbacca one was priceless, and if she ignored it then it was official, the bodysnatchers were on Earth) all for naught. Her Instagram stories had her practically living at the gym, clocking in more hours than he'd seen professional bodybuilders rack up, and he couldn't help but to wonder if she was still training. He wondered if training was another newer tell of hers and meant something that he wasn't picking up on.

He hated not knowing her like he used to.

He still couldn't figure out why she'd dropped the relay. As much as he'd pestered George, trying to see if there was any other reasoning floating around that he wasn't informed of, it was like all things Isabelle were back under lock and key. All they knew was that Isabelle was confident enough she could take on the triathlon by herself and had decided she didn't want to do relay, she wanted to do it independently. They also had been hounding Jack, begging him to take Isabelle's spot. It was either Jack or Nicholas, and as much as he loved his brother, Alexander was as competitive as they came and knew Jack was the better option.

Isabelle was the ideal option, of course, but she wasn't on the table any more.

And of course, there was the radio silence, which had been driving him slowly up a wall. The Fuhrman women were their own league of determined, and he supposed that meant they needed to tune out any potential distractions. If that was the logic, then he was a distraction, and he wasn't sure he knew how he felt about it.

It wasn't that he doubted her any, because he knew just as well as she and everyone else did that she had it in her. He wanted to see her succeed and stand on the podium, watch her face light up as they called her name.  

It was just a selfish little thought of his, wanting to be there on the podium next to her and holding her at the waist so she didn't go toppling off. Wanting to have her back, both literally and figuratively. 

He guessed some things didn't really change.

* * *

The red room at Upgrade was the quietest thing that had been around her in months, and while her muscles were thanking her, Isabelle really didn't like the silence.

She needed the chaos and noise to keep her from falling inside her thoughts. Her thoughts lately had been scattered by the wind, a place she certainly wanted to avoid stepping foot into if she could help it. She'd done her best to put the Marathon Project at the forefront, but it seemed pretty hellbent on just being where she was physically. Mentally, she was everywhere she didn't want to be. She was thinking of how tightly she had been clutching onto Luca the last few weeks and if ever observant, deserved-so-much-more Luca could tell. She was thinking of the triathlon; if she had made a mistake backing out of the relay with George just because the thought of being near Alexander again put a swarm butterflies in her stomach, if she was really capable of doing something like this. By herself.

She was thinking of him.

He was somewhere in Santa Monica tonight, his Snapchat had informed her of such. Santa Monica wasn't that big of a town when she thought about it. He was somewhere out there, somewhere close, and just that knowledge sitting with her was crawling under her skin like an angry hornet. 

Maybe she shouldn't have backed out of their team. She did better when she was a part of something, she  _liked_  knowing she was useful and had a purpose. She craved any sort of external motivation she could give herself because her brain loved to plant little seeds of doubt and turn them into an entire garden overnight. Being on a team was fun, too, much more fun than being by her lonesome.  

It was like Alexander had said, mama didn't raise quitters. And there she'd gone, with her tail between her legs as she bowed out just because a gulp of salt water had burned her lungs and freaked her out.

She'd quit because she was that fucking scared of what she thought her heart might be telling her.

Isabelle threw her head back, a long, drawn-out groan leaving her throat. It filled the silence, no one around to ask what was wrong. Just the release of steam.  
  
She'd be so fucking glad when this triathlon was over and she could go back to her regularly scheduled life, because she didn't know how much longer she could keep this up. 

* * *

 

 **IMESSAGE**  
Alexander Ludwig  
Friday

 

 ** _11:21PM_** _  
_ You gonna be at the race tomorrow?

 ** _1:03AM_** _  
_ I'm not; I have NWMP stuff tomorrow so I'll be doing  
last minute training with them

Aren't you and Nick doing Olympics tomorrow?

 ** _1:14AM_** _  
_ We are

 ** _1:39AM_** _  
_ Good luck!

 ** _1:57AM_** _  
_ Thanks bells

See u sunday?

 

* * *

It was the night before the marathon, and to no surprise, Isabelle couldn't sleep. Insomnia couldn't have struck her at a more inopportune time, seeing as how the triathlon would start before the sun was even up.

Her week had been full of entertaining her sister in the off moments, squeezing in Marathon Project workouts while doubling up for triathlon prep, and having Luca waiting for her in her bed every single night to give new muscles a workout while the others took a break. It had swept by like a hurricane, rushing her from one day to the next with barely any time to blink. 

The room was pitch black, save for the light of her phone screen. She didn't know what had brought her here — maybe there was another planet in retrograde or something, she'd have to ask Luca sometime later on if she could still remember — but she was in the depths of her camera roll, staring at a picture that she hadn't given a second thought to in years. It was a picture from The Hunger Games set of her and Alexander, in the middle of the field with the Cornucopia glinting in the distance. She knew what day they'd taken that; it had been in between takes from when Katniss blew up the food, and she, Alexander, and Jack were doing nothing but running back and forth all day. It had been a brutal day, the high up in the hundreds with humidity in full force. But there they were, smiles so wide their eyes were squinted. She was on his back, her Clove ponytail falling in his eyes and his hands holding her up even as he leaned towards the ground, the two of them laughing too hard to even notice Sharlene had snagged a picture of it.

She was going to see him tomorrow. 

She hadn't really let the weight of that little detail hit her in its full force until now. The last time she had seen Alexander in person had been in 2013, when several of them had decided to get together and go to dinner since it was close to Isabelle's sixteenth birthday. So much had changed since then. They'd grown up, had the world bite them in the ass a few times, gained some and lost some more, and still, all roads lead back to the two of them, together. Next to one another. Like it was where they belonged, or something. 

Isabelle could feel the knot in her stomach twisting, growing larger with every second she let herself ponder on it. The thought of seeing him, the thought of being in front of him and hearing his voice, if everything would fade away or if it would all come back to her in the most overwhelming way — tomorrow was full of so many unknown variables that just pertained to him alone. She had to keep reining herself back in, telling she was there to do a triathlon. He was just a bonus; perhaps the cruelest bonus of all, because she knew it'd end just as it got started again. 

At least she'd be back to her reality soon enough. 

* * *

 

 **IMESSAGE**  
Alexander Ludwig  
Saturday

 

 ** _11:12PM_** _  
_ How did it go today?

 ** _11:14PM_** _  
_ Alright

We finished, but I didn't know if I was gonna be able to.  
Cramped up big time 

 ** _11:17PM_** _  
_ Yikes, I'm sorry to hear it

 ** _11:18PM_** _  
_ Eh, it's what I get for doing the olympic on a week's worth  
of training

 ** _11:20PM_** _  
_ A weeks worth????? What the hell have you  
been doing?

 ** _11:21PM_** _  
_ Stuff for work, I guess???

Idk, tri just kinda took a backseat. 

Jack, George and Nick all aren't the best training partners  
there ever were. They kinda wanted to do their own thing  
and like I said, I've been swamped 

Mind's been elsewhere

 ** _11:23PM_** _  
_ Well, at least you're just doing the swim tomorrow

 ** _11:24PM_** _  
_ Scared about it too, tbh

That cramp was not fun business and I'd prefer not to relive it

Plus I've got two others riding on my back for this, can't let them   
down. Mamma didn't raise no quitters

 ** _11:26PM_** _  
_ Find something to fight through it for (besides letting  
down your teammates)

Cramp or no cramp

All the money is going to Children's Hospital LA, right?

 ** _11:27PM_** _  
_ Yeah

 ** _11:28PM_** _  
_ Then find a reason to push through it  
  
Do it for that one kid that you were close to, Trevor

He'd tell you just like I will: quitters never win, and winners never  
quit. The race hasn't even started yet and you're already counting  
urself out. Cut that shit out

Mama didn't raise no quitters

 ** _11:30PM_** _  
_ I love you

I'll see you at the starting line, Fuhrman

 ** _11:34PM_** _  
_ And I'll see you after when they put that gold medal around your  
neck

 ** _11:34PM_** _  
_ You too

Get out there and kill it

 

* * *

There was once a time when Isabelle knew Alexander so well, she could sense even his quietest excuse of footsteps approaching from behind her. She likened it to a sixth sense of some sort — she always knew when he was near. Always. They'd been on the same wavelength ever since they'd met that day down in the hotel lobby, and Isabelle had it fine-tuned it down to a science. The science of Alexander Ludwig, even though someone as incongruous and spontaneous as him could never have enough predictability in their makeup to be a true science.

But like the science in clockwork, some tings just didn't change. She knew he was there before he'd had the chance to sneak up behind her and wrap his arms around her stomach.

She spun around right as his bare arms encircled her, the movement taking him by surprise. "Dammit," he swore with a laugh. "I wanted to surprise you."

His voice was one she'd still recognize anywhere, in the middle of a sea of swimmers or not. It wasn't until now that she realized just how many times she'd been subconsciously listening for him in crowded rooms over the years. She could hear the slight differences in how his voice had changed, but something about it still took her back to the moments years and years ago when she'd eagerly awaited his after-school phone calls or was up at an unholy hour Skyping with him while he was overseas. He sounded like  _him_ , the him she knew, and she didn't know just how much she'd missed it until it was the only thing flooding through her ears. "You mean scare me."

The early morning sunlight glinted in his eyes, crystalline as ever. Just as she remembered. "Maybe," he sang teasingly. She watched as his face softened, taking in the sight of her. His smile didn't fade any, threatening to jump right off his face. Happiness that looked that unbridled was a rarity; so rare, in fact, she wasn't sure she'd ever seen him look this way before. It was as though pure sunshine was flowing in his veins and radiating off his skin. "God, it's good to see you."

"Yeah," she breathed out, at a loss for words. "It's good to see you too."

Folding into the hug she could've seen coming from a mile away, they were like planets colliding, long-lost lovers reuniting, and Isabelle couldn't possibly remember why she'd ever feared this moment. She'd gotten a little taller since she'd last seen him in person, only barely having to spring herself up on her tiptoes to fling her arms around his neck. His bare skin was warm underneath her cheek, blood pumping fast from the adrenaline. She felt her feet leave the sand as he hoisted her up in the air, spinning around in circles. The slight laugh escaped her involuntarily, but the surprise wasn't enough to break her iron grip on him. He was real and at her fingertips, a moment she never could have seen coming a few months ago. Not even in her wildest of dreams.

"Missed you, Bells," he muttered quietly, his words getting caught in the ocean breeze and floating away. "I missed you so fuckin' much."

"I missed you, too."

They stayed like that for awhile, just her dangling in his arms in a hug that would have been strong enough to defy the laws of gravity itself as a lifetime raced them by.

It finally broke, Alexander still keeping her relatively close after he put her back down on the ground. His eyes were flitting over her as he studied her. "What?" she asked, an eyebrow kinking as her hands settled on her hips, one leg popping out.

"Oh, nothing—" Alexander shook his head, the smile on his face still wide enough he was at risk for a split lip. "You just…you look really good, Bells. Guess that's what happens when you grow up."

Isabelle glanced down at what she had on, eyes lifting back to him in defiance. "I look ridiculous," she countered.

"You look like you're about to go win a fucking triathlon." 

She didn’t have the chance to say anything else before she was interrupted, but the wicked grin said it all.

Elina, ever the fan of a photo opportunity no matter how it presented itself, started motioning for the two of them to stand next to one another. “Come on you two! Let’s get a picture before the race starts.”

Alexander slid closer to her, his hand resting in the curve of her waist. “I still have to bend down to get into frame when it comes to standing next to you,” he teased, laughing in her ear. She scowled, the arm closest to him backhanding him in the chest before she wrapped it behind his waist.

“Awful,” she scolded, and it did nothing but amuse him. His laughter rang out into the morning air, drowning out the monotonous drone of the conversations swirling around them.

Elina was busy juggling three different cameras, attempting to get several pictures on each and not drop any in the sand. It wasn’t the easiest of tasks, therefore it just left Alexander and Isabelle standing with their arms around one another — they both know good and well that the second one of them shifted, they’d get yelled at.

"We look like we're getting ready to set off into the third Quarter Quell," Isabelle noted from the corner of her mouth during Elina's transition between cameras.

"You and your Hunger Games references," Alexander chuckled. 

"I mean, you do realize we were almost Katniss and Peeta, right?"

"Operative phrase being  _almost_."

"Smile, Belle!" Elina redirected, the flash erupting a few seconds later.

“Mom, I love you, but we don’t have all day,” Isabelle called out once she could feel the muscles around her mouth starting to ache from holding up the smile for such a prolonged period. It was why she always went for the resting bitch face. “One and done. That’s the rule around here.”

From behind her iPhone, Elina shot her daughter a glare, snapping away.

“Alright, I know how to take a hint,” Elina finally conceded, tucking the phone under her armpit. “You two have a triathlon to kick ass at.” She walked over to Isabelle, pressing a kiss to the top of her swim cap. “I love you, and you’re going to do phenomenal.” Her eyes then cast up to Alexander, extending her free arm and pulling him into an unexpected hug. “So good to see you again, Alexander.”

“It’s really good to see you too, Elina,” he replied, returning her hug. “I’m sure my mom’s somewhere around here, she’d love to see you.”

It didn’t take much more to get Elina on her merry way than the promise of Sharlene Ludwig and all the conversations that could be had. That left just Isabelle and Alexander, and Isabelle swore she could hear her heart hammering in her throat the more she was able to process the moment for what it was. She was standing here, in front of a shirtless Alexander Ludwig, getting ready to do an entire triathlon by herself.

“I’d better get to the start line,” he said, his thumb tipping over his shoulder. “Still gotta round up the rest of my stuff.”

Isabelle nodded, and Alexander’s face lightened up hopefully. “I’ll see you after? We can hang out before they do the podium?”

“Hell yeah,” she promised, the corners of her lips curling into a smile. “And try to avoid our moms and their snap-happy cameras.”

He barked out another laugh, hand reaching out to squeeze her shoulder. “God, I missed you. Go break a leg, Fuhrman.”

“You too, Ludwig.”

“District Two all the way.” She met his extended hand in a high five, his fingers quickly wrapping around her palm as he yanked their hands back down in some sort of strange handshake that Isabelle was too taken by surprise to reciprocate with the same sort of enthusiasm.

And then just like that, only a few seconds later, he had his back to her and was walking away.

It made her heart ache.

* * *

Two hours.

The last two hours had been nothing but her pushing herself to the brink, and her ears were ringing as she crossed the finish line. Her breathing was so labored that she could barely get out the thanks to the woman who draped the medal around her neck.

She had done a fucking triathlon in two hours flat, all by herself, and if she wasn’t so out of breath, she would have burst into tears there on the spot.

There had been an interview that she blacked out for most of, her thoughts more incoherent than they’d ever been but Isabelle doing her damnedest to be the best actress she knew how and put on the show of a lifetime in acting like it was all good. She had gone back to her things to put her triathlon shirt back on and get ready for the podiums, Madeline and her mother heckling her from the sidelines. Her legs still felt like jelly, heart threatening to leap out of her ribcage, but she’d done it.

And there was someone she needed to find.

Lucky for her, he was way ahead of her.

“Hell yeah, baby!” he yelled out, standing several yards away out in the sand, his arms outstretched for her.

The giddiness consumed her as his words hit her full-force. She had done it, and god, was she so fucking proud of herself. It also didn’t help that the world around him faded away, especially when she saw him there with a mega watt smile that could have dimmed even the morning sunshine looking right at her.

Isabelle didn’t know how she still had it in her, but she sprinted straight for him and catapulted herself into his arms. He caught her, both of her legs wrapped like a vice around his waist as she buried her face into the crook of his neck. He smelled like salt water and sunscreen, like summer, and for a brief moment, she was back in the summer of 2012. Back where she was his and he was hers and nobody dared try to interrupt it because they knew they would only end up disappointed.

“You did it, Belle,” he muttered into her hair. “I’m so goddamn proud of you.”

“I’m so proud of you,” she exhaled. “We fuckin’ did it.”

“District Two didn’t come to lose.”

The world seemed to come back into focus after one incredibly loud cough from Madeline, forcing them to re-enter reality. Isabelle’s feet met the ground once again, but just like before the race, Alexander was intent on keeping her close. They were still wrapped in each other's arms, rocking back and forth as they laughed. "Just like old times," he teased.

"Old times? The only people I could rally with me to dance were Jack and Dayo.  _You_  were too busy throwing the real sword around hoping it'd take Ethan out."

Alexander's head tilted back as he guffawed. "And again, would anyone have missed him if I did?" He took another sweeping glance at her, and she felt a lot less self conscious now that her hair was down, wearing something other than her swimsuit.“Okay, yeah, I definitely meant what I said earlier.”

Isabelle’s eyebrows wrinkled. “Which was?”

“That time’s been kind to you.”

“Amongst other things,” she said, slipping in a quick wink that only he’d see. It lit him up all over again, the laughter etched across his face as soon as it left his chest. It was beautiful, truly, and it wasn’t just because it was him. It was him, here, in this moment years and years later that she had never seen coming, when they were both happy and healthy and together out in Malibu, a place where Isabelle would have believed magic was truly real if someone had tried to convince her of such. There wasn’t a single cloud in the sky, the sun’s rays dancing over their skin as it smiled down on them.

It was him and her, like it had always been. Like it always would be.

“How’d the swim go?” she asked him, nudging him in the arm with her half-empty water bottle.

“Good,” he answered, hand fiddling anxiously with a crumpled up piece of paper he'd acquired at some point. “No cramping like yesterday, thank god. I finished pretty early, so I think we might have a shot at the podium?” His hand came up to scratch behind his neck sheepishly.

“Your team was basically a bunch of superheroes, you guys will probably take first,” Isabelle insisted.

“What, like you?” She couldn’t tell the heat in her cheeks from the workout or blushing at the compliment, her eyes casting down towards the ground as she kicked up a little sand. “Hey—” His voice caught her attention, his blue eyes locking onto hers. “I’m serious. You came plowing through there like a superstar, you’ve got this in the bag.”

“And I’m about to have the most popular Instagram account of the day,” sang Madeline from behind them. They glanced behind them to see Madeline grinning like the devil, waving around her iPhone. Isabelle's face fell into a glare, trying to suppress the urge of flipping her sister off. “I can’t help it; you guys make such a  _beautiful_ couple.”

“Get over here, Fuhrman,” Alexander motioned with a laugh. “Before I throw your phone into the ocean.”

“Hey, I’m just giving the people what they want,” she insisted as she tucked herself up underneath his arm in a side hug. “Good to see you again, buddy.”

“I  _guess_  it’s good to see you, too,” he retorted.

Sharlene came breezing in like her own kind of thunderstorm, such familiarity in the way she commanded all attention to her whenever she came into someone’s realm of existence. It reminded Isabelle of Alexander and how he always did the exact same thing every time he took a step forward. “Isabelle!” she squealed elatedly, launching herself at her. “Oh, god, darling, it’s so nice to see you again! Congratulations!”

“Oh, thanks,” Isabelle deflected meekly as she returned the hug. Sharlene still wore the same expensive perfume that threatened to trigger Isabelle’s allergies, yet she’d never been so happy to have something kick her sinuses in the teeth. “It’s really good to see you too.”

When Sharlene pulled her away, she kept Isabelle at arm’s length to get a sweeping glance at her. “I can’t even believe it,” she breathed out incredulously. “Your mom and I were talking about how much you kids had grown up while you two were racing — you are so unbelievably gorgeous, do you know that?" Isabelle knew for certain that her face was on fire because of the shower of compliments this time around, unsure of how to not sound like a broken record as Sharlene continuously showered her in praise. "Zander, get over here, I want to get a few pictures of you two together again!"

"Can't you just turn on your AirDrop and let Elina send you her flood of pictures?" Alexander grumbled lightheartedly. 

Sharlene rolled her eyes. "Honey, you know technology and I are mortal enemies. I don't even know what AirDrop is."

From beside her, Elina looked all too pleased with herself as she nudged the blonde woman in the shoulder. "Don't worry," she whispered. "I can show you how to work it later while we wait for podiums."

Madeline groaned. "Give me a break, mother; you can barely remember your passcode."

It felt like a photoshoot the way their mothers snapped away at pictures, Madeline sneaking in a few of her own — Isabelle would have to kill her later if the ones of them hugging made it onto Instagram. All it took was one look up at Alexander, with his arms around her waist as he tugged her into another hug for the entire world to melt away from her. Everything except for him and the way that he looked at her. 

Just like back in the heat of 2012 when cell service was a foreign concept and Jacqueline Emerson was always around the corner waiting with a new prank idea, Isabelle and Alexander were inseperable as they waited on podiums. Alexander offered to go fix her coffee while she rested, Isabelle snagging a quick Instagram video of the two of them before he slipped away. The two of them sat on the sand underneath the shade of the tent, as far out of the way of the other contestants as they could manage. 

"Is your girlfriend here?" Isabelle found herself asking when the conversation started to taper off, their exhaustion starting to catch up with them.

Alexander nodded, resting his half-empty cup on top of his kneecap. "Don't know where though. She's probably with Nick, lost in the shuffle as per usual." He glanced over at her, his expression so soft it yanked hard on Isabelle's heartstrings. "What about yours?" he asked quietly.

"Somewhere," Isabelle replied, her lips pressed to the rim of her cup. "Don't know where though."

The moment ticked by them, slow and light, like the wind rolling in off the ocean. In another world, maybe, this would have been where Isabelle rested her head on his shoulder and let him drape his arm around her, sitting like that for awhile as they relished in the company of one another. Maybe in another life, where they weren't sitting around and mentioning their significant others, Isabelle would ask him if he was single and he'd say yes, and she'd invite him to go with her tonight to the Grateful Dead Party, and he'd say yes. Maybe they'd go to the party and sneak away early, drive back out here to Zuma and splash in the water until gravity finally put them in the places they belonged: with his lips on hers, hands rooted at the nape of her neck and tangled in her hair. But this wasn't that life, and she'd just have to make do with the brunch she knew Sharlene and Elina were planning to drag everyone to. 

One thing was for sure, though: she had been wrong all those years ago. 

She knew it when she glanced down, Alexander's left hand down by his leg with his palm facing upwards and his fingers outstretched, waiting for her. For a moment she didn't know if she was seeing things or if it was what she was insinuating, but she was too tired, too spent when it came to giving a fuck and constantly leaping into flight mode around him anymore. So she switched the hand holding her cup and let her right hand tangle with his, linking her fingers in the spaces between his. Alexander gripped onto her hand and gave it a slight squeeze, and for the first time in six years, the planets felt like they were back in their perfect alignment. Isabelle felt her heart slip back into contentment. They just sat there, holding each other's hand, the both of them against the world for a few more moments like everything was back to the way it had been, even though it never would really be like that again.

And when she stood on that podium getting her first place medal, she could hear his voice in the crowd over all the others yelling her name, the tears burning behind her eyes, she knew. Not just because she'd gotten first place. Not just because he was here, and it was  _him_ , and the entire morning still felt like a dream she was too afraid to wake up from now that it was all almost over.

Everything had changed, and it didn't scare her anymore.


End file.
